AmyNikkeia [dot] Com

So… college…is unbearable. I stay just so behind and I find it hard to get interested in it. My life since the last time that I wrote has become….. intresting…. to say the least. I barely ever have time to get on the internet anymore, let alone keep my webpage and blog up to date.  I do well to eat and sleep between school and work, so things are not like they were. Then, my grouchy mother in law wants to stay on the phone every change she gets, and I am still in the world of Dial-Up. I miss my grandfather so much, and my husband doesn’t understand how good he has it. He gets to run to his mommy every chance he gets because we live right beside her. I guess I’ve let that out now, so I’ll fill you in up until now…

After my “close call” wreck, I had a real wreck. A real bad wreck. I flipped my car 3 times over a 75 foot embankment. And was unharmed (and adrenaline pumped enough) to stand on the steering wheel and hop out the back passenger side window, and climb back up the embankment, tearing briars out of my way with my bare hands. Of course, I felt it later..but the worst I got out of the accident was a particularly bad bruise on my calf. I tell people that I didn’t walk away without a scratch, but I am blessed and so fortunate that scratches are all I got. The car literally looks like I had a protecting hand over the driver’s side, because the whole thing was caved in except were I was sitting.

That happened on a Friday. The following Sunday, I was saved, and the next day, I was baptized and married while I was still dripping wet. I don’t regret it for a moment, either. Life is just too short to take for granted, which I learned pretty quickly to live life to the absolute fullest every day. So now, I’ve been married for a month and when times are bad and money is hard to find, I have a Savior to look to, who I know will always be there for me.

Now, all that is left is battling the struggles of being a newlywed, any trying to get over the emotional scars of such a traumatic experience.

So yeah.. I didn’t do any kind of talent shows. In the end, I decided that I do enjoy to sing, but not necessarily to perform. So that’s pretty much my week. I’m still adjusting to having a job and trying to go to school… it’s amazing that I don’t have any time to even do laundry. Plus, all this work and I’m still short on cash. My school is a piece of lying crap that doesn’t give refunds when they say they will, and I’ve been working & just waiting for my first paycheck to come by. So in the mean time, I’m just floating on ash tray change and loaned money from my grandfather. I need to get a new computer with the money, so I hope it comes soon. Does anyone have one of those netbooks? Are they very practical?

I’ve had the worst luck this last week. I went to my community festival, and ended up finding in a 6 wide deep hole in a 40 foot wide hillside. Go figure. So then I rechipped my ankle bone, as some of you recall, I did about 3 years ago. Before that, I ran into my car, with my fat butt. Followed by about 10 more falls (on the same ankle), slamming my previously shattered thumb in a cabinet at work, etc., etc. Lastly, I had a near accident a couple of days ago. I was driving down the road on my way home and the pulley thing that controls my power steering burned up and melted into a hunk of plastic, which I hear happens only once every million gazillion cars. So my steering locked up, my car overheated, and it traveled into the oncoming traffic and I couldn’t steer it back. Oh well. I’m fine though, despite my hectic week.

So now, I’m hoping I can get my old stupid computer to hold up long enough to return some comments, add a SPAM PROTECTOR to my comments, and get my internet class out of the way. This isn’t going to happen, of course, but I’m going to give it the old college try.

…okay… not really.

So the reason for the title… I’ve been thinking of doing some talent shows again, even though my pride took a big hit after the last audition I did, over 2 years ago. There was this women’s choir held at my college, and I really wanted to join, but (1) I suck, (2) I SUCK, and (3) I can’t possibly juggle a job, classes, and housework with extracirriculars.  Okay, so now I’m rambling…

Even though I couldn’t participate in that, there is a talent showcase at my town’s annual festival, and I thought about entering. Around here, it doesn’t take much to get appreciated. They find out you’re good, and before you know it, you’re headlining every watermelon social and community day for years to come. I know it’s not going to happen to me, but still.. that side of me is really desiring the feeling you get from performing. On top of this, there is a big “Idol” talent show going on pretty near to me, and the winner gets to record a cd, do an interview on the radio, and open for David Ball.  Once again, it’s not gonna happen, but I kinda just want to do it to find out.

And no, I’m not putting myself down for the sake of getting attention.. I really do suck. Seriously. I used to be good at singing, and I will be the first to admit it, but I let my gift go and stopped practicing… the passion really left me, in a way. It’s like my boyfriend, Wesley, and drawing. He is AMAZING at drawing, and still is to this day… but he stopped doing it and got rusty.

On a different note (no pun intended), I’m very very nervous about tomorrow.  I’ve got my first day of work tomorrow and I’ve got that feeling that only comes when you don’t know what the heck you’re doing. That’s right… like a deer in the headlights.  At training, they pretty much told us, “Come in at this time and go by the signs in the back..”  So basically, they left a lot of information to be desired. I just wish I could be more confident at times than I am. Like today in my Public Speaking class where I made sure that I was last to make my speech.

Which brings me to something my Public Speaking teacher brought up…

Why worry?

If you think it’s going to rain tomorrow, why say, “Oh I hope it doesn’t rain..” You know you can’t control it, so why worry?

This is something I need to work on, because like she also said, I’m the kind of person that worries about not having anything to worry over.

How do I fix that?